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Involve family and friends

• Involve family and friends
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• Care for the body
• Hold a vigil
• Involve children
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Image above: Woodland, South Devon

Involve children

It is a good idea to encourage bereaved children to be involved in the preparations for the funeral and the funeral itself, without making it an obligation. A close death is unsettling and can make a child feel powerless. Research has shown that they benefit from involvement. It is generally not advisable to 'protect' children from the reality of death, but instead to give them clear and factual information suitable to their age, avoiding confusion and scope to imagine things and to discuss the funeral arrangements with them.

Children can:

• make pictures or notes to go in the coffin
• make a posy of flowers to go on or in the coffin
• make a drape for the coffin or help to decorate it
• be present at a viewing of the body or vigil, having prepared them with clear information about what they will see
• choose a poem, reading, music or song for the funeral
• read, sing or play music at the funeral
• make petals from flowers to go in the grave
• help to decorate the funeral venue
• give ideas for the design of the ceremony sheet
• be involved in the scattering or internment of the ashes

Helpsheet: children and funerals

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